The Many Impacts of George Floyd's Death On My Life

There are certain past events that have happened where I remembered exactly where I was and what I was doing when they occurred. For instance, I was at my part-time job on campus when the towers fell on 9/11 and I was in my son’s closet preparing our house to be staged when I heard the cries of George Floyd for his mother on May 25, 2020. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I saw a black man lose his life on video by a police officer, but this was the first one that I saw it happen live. To witness the death of a person is extremely difficult, and I had done that before when I saw my mother-in-law and Dad take their last breaths, but to witness someone’s murder is a different demon. The devastation and disappointment that I felt in that moment was so strong, I felt as though I was losing my breath. And even in this moment, as I type this, all of those emotions are just as present as they were then!

As George Floyd’s death generated a social reckoning within the world, it also ignited a firestorm in the religious community that landed right at our front door. We were ministry leaders within a multi-ethic church under the leadership of a white pastor and quickly found out that our position within the church was contingent on what we could produce versus our well-being. My husband and I felt as though we were drowning, but yet encouraged to help rescue others without at least being thrown a life jacket for ourselves.

This past year has been a year of significant loss and grief on many varying levels. We have lost loved ones to the pandemic, our church to the lack of a spiritual covering, many relationships because of the lack of racial empathy, and income due to white privilege. But guess what….

We still have hope! Our personal relationships with God have deepened. Our marriage is flourishing (even with us being quarantined together, virtual schooling 3 kids, working from home, and starting a business together)! We are taking care of our physical, spiritual, social, and mental well-beings. We have been able to build on existing relationships, and have been able to make new ones. We continue to fight for racial equality because all of our black babies deserve to be seen in their wholeness and allowed to walk in their greatness without hesitation!

I want to thank the Floyd family for allowing us to be spectators in this extremely personal and painful experience! We pray for continued comfort and peace as you all continue on your healing journey!

And for everyone else, lets choose empathy over hate and appreciation of our differences instead of intolerance.