Happy Couples Don't Argue

The fact is we do argue, but in our household we call it an "intense time of fellowship".

Having a difference of opinion is ok because we are two individuals with our own perspectives and
opinions. When you get married that does not mean that you now think the same and see everything the
same way.

For example, my husband thinks that Coming 2 America is just as good as Coming to America. I
completely disagree, but are we still a happily married couple....absolutely! We can have a difference of
opinion and talk about those differences while still being respectful of each other.

I know my scenario was light-hearted, but understand that any argument, or debate, is a way for us to better understand our spouse's point of view and learn more about them. We learned through our premarital counseling, that we should use active listening techniques during those times of intense fellowship.

Here's how to be an active listener:

1. Pay Attention - Give your spouse your undivided attention, and acknowledge what you are hearing.

Example - Look at your spouse in their eyes. Don't mentally be preparing your rebuttal!

2. Show That You're Listening - Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.

Example - Encourage your spouse to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."

3. Provide Feedback - As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to
reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.

Example:
"What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ,"

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