If your marriage is going through a rough stage, adding a baby to the equation is not the way to try and fix things.

It's actually the opposite!

Having a child will magnify any current issues that the marriage is experiencing. For example, if you are having communication issues, going through a pregnancy with increased hormones and body changes, will not make that any easier or cause communication between you and your spouse to improve.

Keep in mind that there is never a "perfect" time to start a family, but realize that having a child comes with its own stressors and doesn't resolve any current problems.

If this is where you are, don't suffer in silence alone! Join our FB community or schedule a call where we can give you some 1-on-1 guidance to help you navigate this difficult season.

Some of us have jobs that we really enjoy working. While some of us drive from work, sit in traffic(often for hours), only to get home and then answer work calls or emails during your "down" time for a job that you tolerate, but can't stand. How about working on your off day? Are you guilty of doing that too? You might be considered a workaholic and are prioritizing your work over your relationship!

When you think about how you were raised, can you recall memories as if you were reading a book about your life? When you get married all those experiences with the people who raised you, who you spent your childhood with...all of those relationships and experiences are a part of your family of origin story.

People often joke about marriage being like a ball and chain....heavy, hard to maneuver, and a trap. Marriage is often seen as the end of your dreams and it prevents you from doing what you want to do, but that is far from the truth!

Marriage does change your life, and it prevents you from doing a lot of things on a whim, but it also allows you to be in a relationship where you adore each other.

We often think that...because this person is my soulmate, because we have known each other for a long time, because they can finish my sentences etc., then there is no need for me to have to verbalize our needs and wants since our spouses will already know.

In many facets of our lives (like work, self-care, etc.), we are constantly doing some form of continuous education. It could be getting a certification, continuing your academic education, or getting a license to get a promotion or just level up your life! So why not continuing to become a better, or a more well-rounded, spouse for your marriage?

There are bound to be someone in the relationship who loves to be early while the other one tends to run behind schedule, one is more organized than the other, or one spouse wants more "me time" instead of quality time with their spouse.

According to Gottman's Research, only 31% of conflicts are actually solvable. In a marriage, perpetual problems will occur because of the different personalities and lifestyles you and your spouse have. It is more important on how you navigate those differences, so that they do not create any barriers within your marriage.

Accept those differences so that you are able to maintain and increase your emotional connection and satisfaction within your relationship.

We will admit that having kids is not as easy as it sounds and can widen the divide if your marriage/relationship is already experiencing some challenges. But we think that using the word "ruin" is way too harsh!

Kids require you to communicate differently, and more often, as well as more intentionally.

Society likes to label men as weak if they show any vulnerabilities or feelings. So when men get married sometimes it's a tough transition to share their hearts and reveal any weaknesses because they are trying to appear strong .

It is more important on how you handle your childhood baggage rather than that you have some. Everyone has some triggers, behaviors, or trauma from their childhood, but that doesn't mean that you have to repeat those issues in your marriage!

Often times, spouses feel the pressure to purchase gifts, candy, flowers, and fancy dinners to celebrate Valentine's Day. But I think that pressure is unnecessary!

Valentine's Day should be an expression of your love for your spouse in the way that they receive love; which looks different for each marriage/relationship!

Every relationship is going to have its challenges and victories!

Don't get caught up in a temporary moment and start to question the integrity of your relationship. You cannot judge the actions of your partner solely based on the current difficulty. Staying in the moment will keep you in the cycle of negativity.

There will be certain seasons and phases of your marriage where you, or your spouse, will be giving more than the other. And to be honest, it is too hard to try and track how much each person needs to give for equal effort, equal love, and doing equal the amount of work in the relationship and household.

Couples therapy is not only for couples who are experiencing extreme issues or problems. Couples therapy is for everyone! It is designed to help partners recognize and resolve any conflict or challenges that they may be experiencing in their relationship; or just fine tune some of the tools that they already have.

Life in general can be boring and mundane. I mean we are just beginning to come out of a global pandemic that had us all stuck in the house for over a year; so everyone can relate to this even if you are not married. Every day of your regular life is not always an adventure and your marriage DOES NOT have to be boring!

The great thing about marriage, is that you have a built in partner to enjoy life with and you're able to make it whatever you want it to be!

You have to continue to date your spouse well after the wedding reception. Explore new things together and don't be afraid to continue to study your spouse. This will keep your marriage fresh and your love anew!

My husband and I LOVE doing things together, discovering new restaurants, traveling, and making each other laugh.

What do you and your spouse do to keep things fresh in your marriage?

Anyone who has been married for any amount of time will know that communicating
effectively is an evolution. There will be times where you are able to communicate in a way where you can
accurately convey how you feel and what you need without an accusing tone.

You will constantly work toward obtaining an understanding of your spouse's feelings and opinions.
Honestly, you will also have to figure out what you are feeling in order to communicate that effectively to
your spouse, beyond just superficial feelings.

Marriage does not make you both mind readers and you won't be able to automatically know what your
spouse is thinking and feeling. You will have to develop communication styles that works for your
relationship so that you will not become distant or resentful toward each other.

I grew up really churchy and something that was always told to me was to never "shack up" with a boyfriend because he will "never want to buy the cow if he can get the milk for free." Anyone else ever been told that?

If your marriage is going through a rough stage, adding a baby to the equation is not the
way to try and fix things.

It's actually the opposite!

Having a child will magnify any current issues that the marriage is experiencing. For example, if you are
having communication issues, going through a pregnancy with increased hormones and body
changes, will not make that any easier or cause communication between you and your spouse to
improve.

Keep in mind that there is never a "perfect" time to start a family, but realize that having a child comes
with its own stressors and doesn't resolve any current problems.

If your marriage is going through a rough stage, adding a baby to the equation is not the
way to try and fix things.

It's actually the opposite!

Having a child will magnify any current issues that the marriage is experiencing. For example, if you are
having communication issues, going through a pregnancy with increased hormones and body
changes, will not make that any easier or cause communication between you and your spouse to
improve.

Keep in mind that there is never a "perfect" time to start a family, but realize that having a child comes
with its own stressors and doesn't resolve any current problems.

It is often told to newlyweds that you should never go to bed angry.

While I can see where that advice is headed, I would venture to say that it is not always feasible.

You don't want to force coming to a resolution when the both of your emotions are at their heightened
levels. Or if you feel backed into a corner, you may say something that hits below the belt and cause even
more damage that what the initial disagreement was.

It is okay to decide to a break from the intense fellowship and agree on a time when you all will
continue the discussion. This gives you both time to cool off.